Thursday, November 01, 2007

Kuch Kuch Socha Hai!!

People have different ways of staying awake for late nights - coffee, loud music, cigarettes et al; for me Diet Coke works great. The only problem is that right now I have so much caffeine in my system, I can't get back to sleep if even though I want to. So have decided to write something, anything...

Karan "I'm in love with Shahrukh" Johar has made four movies:

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (K2H2)
Kal Ho Naa Ho (KHNH)
Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham (K3G)
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (KANK)

I haven't seen two of these (KANK, K3G), but can note so many similarities within all his movies that I am tempted to just outline them, and then try to predict a few things for the next one.

The foreign l(h)and: I assume Yash Johar didn't allow KJo enough money to go abroad on the first one (K2H2, except for the songs in Scotland), but he made up for it by building a completely Americanized campus in the movie (bhai humein to bambai mein bhi aisa campus nahi dikha) - (and if mountain will not come to Muhammad...), he got Rani Mukherjee from London. Elsewhere, the locations have been New York (KANK, KHNH) and London (K3G).

Next location: London deserves another chance just to even it out.

1. The disco number (with English words): KANK - "Where's the Party tonight", K3G - "You're my Sonia", KHNH - "It's Time to Disco".

Next: "Let's do the disco tonight, Sonia"

2. The "If I have Amitabh Bachhan in my movie, I will make him dance" song: KANK - "Rock and Roll Soniye", K3G - "Say Shava Shava".

3. Opening peppy (correct Hindi term chulbula number which could include the word ladka/ladki) - K2H2 - "Ladki Badi Anjaani Hai", K3G - "Yeh Ladka Hai Allah", KHNH - "Pretty Woman". Not possible to have peppy numbers in KANK, people had kids at the beginning of the movie.

4. The "traditional Indian family marriage" number: Not possible for KANK - the entire theme was too un-traditional-Indian to begin with and sabki shaadi ho chuki thi. K3G - "Bole Chudiya", KHNH - "Maahi Ve", K2H2 - "Saajan ji Ghar Aaye".

5. The Title Song - woh to hona zaroori hai. Bina kisi gaane ke log poochenge, itna lamba naam kyun rakha film ka.

Injured/Dying people
KANK - He broke Shahrukh's leg
KHNH - He gave Shahrukh some terminal disease (I hope it was not blood cancer, the traditional bane of the upright Hindi film hero).
K2H2 - Rani ko maar diya!
Haven't seen K3G to know, but don't think anybody died.

Next: I hope he gives Shahrukhs lymphocarcoma of the intestine (or maybe the bladder, the colon, the cockles)!!

Shahrukh Khan can play macho sports
KANK - Football, KHNH - Rugby, K2H2 - Basketball

Next - Since he has done hockey in Chak De and cricket is too cliched, he might do baseball.

The foreign returned/staying guy/gal who follows Indian traditions and knows a song to prove that or something to the effect that Indian culture is the best
K2H2 - Rani, "Om Jai Jagdeesh",
KHNH - Some song plays while they are opening an Indian restaurant instead of a Chinese one
K3G - Somebody sings the Indian national anthem in the UK.

Next: Since LCMD ("My Apron is Stained") has done with Hanuman Chalisa, I think the next one will likely feature "Vande Matram" (both religious and nationalistic angle!)

It is late in the night, and even though I can go on for long, I think I'll just stop. Can feel sleep finally coming over me. Will draw something around the other Yash (Chopra) movies some other time.

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