Tuesday, February 05, 2008


Why am I here?

Where am I going?

Where did we all come from, ab initio?

Our existence is a bit like radiation, starting from one source, and radiating outwards, covering greater and greater area, intersecting with more and more similar radiating curves, affecting them, but dimming further and further in intensity until we slowly fade away, memories dull and we forget where we came from and where we started out for - or is that merely an illusion - the goal - and all we are doing is following a pre-defined path.

In college, I used to think, one day I would rule the world. As impractical as it sounds, I don't want the dream to die away - it has fired me time and again and kept me from falling into an abyss. But 1.5 years of professional life have blunted me, fattened me, made me lazy. The bluster is still there, but the intensity is going away. Political correctness, easy money, compromises have all made my spirit but a ghost of what it was.

Sometimes, I think it is better to be dead than be this way.

1 comment:

cathatfished said...

a tag woke me up today so i thought i'd jog you out of slumber too :) come to my blog, and take the tag i passed on! :)